


The Chauffeur

by zebraljb



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-20
Updated: 2012-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-29 20:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/323955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Viggo's birthday, and Orlando does something special for him.</p><p>Song: "The Chauffeur" by Duran Duran</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chauffeur

THE CHAUFFEUR

 

“You tell him!”

“No, you!”

Orlando heard a scuffle outside the makeup trailer that he shared with Viggo and Sean. Sean lay on the floor in full costume, reading a newspaper. Viggo was still in the chair getting final touches to his beard, and Orlando was on the chair next to him, blond wig pulled back in a bandana. Sean snorted without looking up from his newspaper. Viggo’s eyes met Orlando’s in the mirror and he smiled as Orlando shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

“No clue, mate.”

“Jeannie, thanks,” Viggo said. “I have a feeling we’re about to be set upon by a bunch of Hobbits. You may want to flee for your life.”

The makeup girl squeezed his shoulder. “Thanks for looking out for me, Vig.” She packed her supplies and escaped out of the trailer. The door banged shut, then flew back open as Elijah, Dom and Billy fell into the trailer.

“Hey, Viggo!”

“Hello, Dom. Billy. Elijah,” Viggo said politely. One Hobbit was dangerous enough, but when three of them got to whispering and sneaking about, it usually meant some sort of trouble.

“Thought you’d want to know…Chippendales are coming to Wellington…just in time for your birthday.” Billy managed to keep a straight face while relating this information, but Dom and Elijah fell into giggles.

“Oh, really? You thinking of trying out?” Viggo asked calmly. Billy stared at him open-mouthed, which sent Orlando and Sean into laughter.

“No, Vig, I just thought…”

“You thought that because I expressed my interest in both sexes that I’d be jumping up and down at the thought of paying to watch men take off their clothes?”

“Well, they ARE the Chippendales,” Elijah finally managed.

Viggo stood, straightening his costume and grabbing his sword. “Elijah, the only way I’m going to a place like that for my birthday is if everyone else goes. And that means you, Dom, Billy, Sean Astin, Beanie and Orlando.”

“What about Ian and John?” Dom wanted to know.

“I respect John too much to even bother him with something this asinine. And Ian…”

“Ian probably owns stock in the Chippendales,” Beanie said, jumping to his feet as well.

“I’m not going to see some stupid male dancers,” Dom said. Billy nodded in agreement.

“And I’m not old enough to get in,” Elijah said with visible relief.

Beanie chuckled, clapping Viggo on the back. “Sorry, mate. Looks like no Chippendales for you this year.”

“I’m so upset,” Viggo said wryly, obviously far from upset. “Look, boys, if you want to get me a stripper, let him jump out of a cake.” He left the trailer with the Hobbits on his heels.

“But what about a girl stripper, Viggo?” Orlando heard Elijah yell.

Beanie looked at him. “You alright, Orli?”

“What? Oh, yeah.” Orlando carefully got up, arranged his costume, and left the trailer deep in thought.

 

“Orli. Orlando Bloom. Elf-boy.” Sean Astin waved his hand in front of Orlando’s face.

“What? Huh?” Orlando blinked.

“You’ve had that sandwich in your hand for five minutes. Where are you?”

“Oh, sorry.” Orlando obediently took a bite. “Did you ask me something?”

“What were you so deep in thought about?” Dom wanted to know.

“Just trying to figure out what to get Viggo for his birthday,” Orlando lied. Viggo had indeed been in his thoughts, but it was more along the lines of licking cake from Viggo’s body than what to get him for said birthday. Orlando shook his head. This obsession of his was getting out of hand.

“That’s what we were talking about,” Elijah said eagerly. “I still think porn’s the way to go.”

“You think porn’s the answer for everything,” Sean argued back. “You’re beginning to worry me.”

“Art supplies,” Orlando suggested. “That’s always a safe bet. And you know he’ll use them.” His mind briefly floated to the idea of naked Viggo covered in paint. “Or, you know, not,” he quickly amended.

“I think I’ll do that,” Dom said. “I’ve seen the brand of paint he uses.”

“Why don’t we bum around Wellington on Thursday? We have an off day but Viggo’s on-set,” Billy suggested. Everyone nodded.

 

“Do we really have to stick together?” Orlando asked as they climbed out of Dom’s car. “I feel like I’m on a field trip or something.”

Sean checked his watch. “It’s eleven-thirty. Why don’t we meet back here at three and catch an early dinner?”

“Good idea. See you, boys.” Orlando nodded at them and took off on his own.

What do you get the sexiest man on the planet for his birthday? Orlando asked himself. What do you buy for the man whose entire being fills your every waking moment? Orlando kicked at stone, shoving his hands into his pockets. It wasn’t fair. NO one should be that gorgeous, that nice, that deep and intelligent, and be so out of reach. Viggo was fair where Orlando was dark. He was serious where Orlando was wild and crazy. It would never be.

Orlando did some window-shopping, but nothing seemed to catch his eye. An hour went by, and he felt like he had walked every street in Wellington. He turned a corner and froze, reading the sign in front of him. “Dance Studio,” he read softly. “Classes as well as private lessons. Yoga, Pilates, Belly Dancing, Erotic Dancing.” He shook his head. No way. He couldn’t.

Look, boys, if you want to get me a stripper, have him jump out of a cake.

Orlando took a deep breath and opened the door of the dance studio.

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Orlando said, panting for breath as he ran up to the car.

“And just what were YOU doing?” Elijah teased.

“Getting Viggo’s present, git,” Orlando said. “I’m starving. Let’s go to that Irish pub.”

“Great idea.” Dom began walking and the others hurried after him.

“What did you get him, Orli?” Sean asked.

“I’m, well, making him something,” Orlando said, hoping he wasn’t blushing as he said it.

 

He had entered the studio with a sense of nervous foreboding, but he wasn’t met with anything scarier than a housewives’ yoga class. “Can I help you?” A woman of about forty approached him with a smile.

“I, yeah. I don’t know.” Orlando rubbed at the back of his neck. “See, I have a…a friend. And it’s his birthday. And I thought I could. Fuck. I mean, excuse my language. I just…”

“This is more than a friend?” The woman asked gently, leading Orlando to a small sofa in the lobby.

“Not on his side,” Orlando muttered.

“What were you thinking, love?”

“Something…with a cake.” Orlando blushed and wished the ground would swallow him. It felt like a herd of Orcs was tap-dancing on his stomach.

She smiled kindly and took his hand. “I think we can work something out for you, dear. My name is Sandra.”

 

“Orli, coming with us?” Beanie asked as Orlando sat through wig-removal.

“No, not tonight. My back is bugging me.” Orlando hoped he looked as sick as he felt, and in truth, he was sick. Sick with nerves.

“You okay?” Viggo rubbed his arm sympathetically. Every nerve in Orlando’s body cried out at the gentle touch.

“Fine.” He gave a small smile and stood as soon as the wig was off. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Orlando hurried out to his car and jumped in, doing a quick scan of the backseat to make sure his other clothes were there. He had his first dance class that night, and didn’t want to try and dance in the clothes he wore to the set.

The studio was dark except for one room on the second floor. Orlando hurried to the locker room, changed, and walked to the lit room. Sandra was there waiting for him. “Here you are.”

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

“You’re not. I know your schedule is crazy. Are you sure you’re not too tired?”

“No,” Orlando said. He was determined to see this through, and no sore muscle or pained back was going to stop him. He was going to make Viggo see how he felt, and if it took this to do it, he would do it. “So…”

“I took the liberty of picking out a few songs. I’m not going make you do something that will embarrass you, Orlando.” Sandra pulled out a few cds. “No “I’m Too Sexy” or “I Touch Myself,” I promise.”

Orlando laughed out loud, relaxing a bit. “That helps.”

“Listen to this and see what you think.”

 

“Orlando. Orlando. Legolas.”

“What? I’m here!” Orlando sat up, almost falling over as his hair caught on the tree. “Fuck.”

Viggo chuckled and knelt down to where Orlando was leaning against a tree trunk. “We need to be ready in five.”

“Okay.” Orlando rubbed at his eyes as best he could without messing up his makeup. “These contacts are from hell. I’m serious, mate. From. Hell.”

“Understood.” Viggo briefly touched Orlando’s face. “You seem tired. More than usual.”

“M’fine.” Orlando stood more carefully this time, stretching. “Just been…working on something.”

“Some people think you have, well, a bit on the side, to be blunt.” Viggo almost looked nervous.

Orlando laughed out loud. “No. Not like that. I’m…well…making something for someone. A person I care about. It’s a surprise.”

“Oh.” Viggo was relieved. “Good to know. That’s nice of you.”

“Yeah, well, he deserves it.” Viggo blinked and Orlando realized he had never come out and said he was gay. “Oh, yeah. Well, I meant, see…” Orlando babbled. “Fuck, yeah, I’m gay. Sorry. I guess I should have said that way back when we were all giving our life story.”

“No need to apologize,” Viggo said. He smiled warmly. “Some things don’t need to be said right away.”

“Okay, so, yeah. We’re on, then?” Orlando headed back to the set, leaving Viggo to watch him walk away.

 

“I’m sorry, Viggo,” Orlando said, his voice quiet and weary. “I wanted to stay for your whole party. I just…I hate being sick.”

Viggo walked Orlando to the door of his house. “I understand, Orlando. Your well-being is more important than a birthday party.” He pulled Orlando in for a tender hug.

Orlando buried his face in Viggo’s shoulder, hoping this wouldn’t be the last hug they shared. “Love you, Vig. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you, Prissy Elf.” Viggo pulled back, smiling at him.

“See you guys later.” Orlando waved over his shoulder at the rest of the room.

“Bye, Orli!” Sean called loudly.

“Do excuse me, gentlemen. I believe I’m beginning to go deaf from this noise you call music, and I need some fresh air,” Ian said, looking with disdain at the pile of Hobbits on the floor.

“You need to have an open mind, Ian,” Elijah said.

“I guarantee that I do indeed have an open mind, but now I also have closed ears.” Ian slipped out the front door as well.

Ian went down the gravel driveway to the truck parked on the street. “Thanks, Ian,” Orlando said, opening the tailgate and untying something.

“You’re sure about this, my boy?”

Orlando stopped moving and looked at the ground. “I…I need to tell him, Ian. I can’t just keep being happy-go-lucky Orli without a care in the world. He’s ALL I care about.”

“I see. Well, I look forward to this,” Ian teased, and he could feel Orlando’s blush. “I’ll take this up to the house and be waiting in the kitchen.”

Orlando nodded, taking a deep pull from the flask of whiskey he held in his hand.

 

“Viggo, there’s something for you in the kitchen,” Ian said, returning to the living room. All conversation ceased.

“What?”

“I came in through that back door and there’s a large…something…in the kitchen.” Ian frowned. “I’m not sure what it is. I just know your name is on a large card.”

“Okay.” Viggo finished his beer and got up. Dom, Billy, Elijah, John and Sean followed close on his heels, Beanie and Ian at the rear.

“Know anything about this?” Beanie asked Ian. The older man shrugged and smiled.

Viggo stared at what was obviously a giant birthday cake, then picked up the large envelope and opened it. “Viggo,” he read aloud. “You asked for this not too long ago and I hope you still want it. Please sit at the kitchen table and press play on the cd player on the counter.” Viggo looked up and noticed an unfamiliar cd player on his kitchen counter. “Hobbits, no touching. This is Viggo’s present.” Viggo looked at the others. “Anyone know what’s going on?” Everyone shook their heads. “Okay, then.” He took a seat at the kitchen table while the others hovered in the doorway. Viggo leaned over and pushed play.

 _Out on the tar plains…the glides are moving…all looking for a new place to drive…_

The music started with a low and whining guitar. The top of the cake moved and slid off, and a figure stood. First a chauffeur’s hat appeared, covering a very familiar riot of dark curls. This was followed by a long body clad in a dark grey chauffeur’s uniform, the jacket of the uniform being three-quarter length that came to the back of Orlando’s knees. The head was tilted down, one hand holding the hat to cover the face. The slim body swung itself up and over the edge of the cake.

 _You sit beside me, so newly charming…sweating dewdrops glisten…fresh in your side…and the sun drips down very heavy behind the front of your dress so shadowy lined, the droning engine throbs in time with your beating heart…_

Orlando didn’t move until the break after the first stanza. His hand slid from his hat, down his side, to rest on his thighs, and his head slowly tilted back up. He tried to remember everything Sandra had taught him about movement, and rhythm, and his own body. Even if he forgot the simple choreography they had created, he only had to remember that he was doing this for Viggo. Viggo’s eyes were the only ones that he needed to worry about. Viggo’s opinion was all that mattered.

Viggo stared at Orlando as his lithe body moved out of its cake shell and onto the floor. He heard the Hobbits gasp with shock, and also heard John and Ian clear their throats as one to get them to shut up. Viggo had always loved a man in uniform, and the beautiful boy in front of him only brought the fantasy closer and closer to reality.

Orlando removed the hat, tossing it onto Viggo’s lap. He ran a hand through his curls, then trailed that hand down his chest as the other hand started unbuttoning the jacket from the bottom up. His tan chest teased from between the sides of the jacket, but he didn’t immediately take it off. It was completely obvious that he wore nothing underneath. He began to move with the music, trying to focus on the sound of the music and not the throbbing of his heart, though the two soon intertwined.

 _Way down the lane a way…living for another day, the aphids swarm up in the drifting haze…swim seagull in the sky towards that hollow western isle…my envied lady holds you fast in her gaze…and the sun drips down very heavy behind, the front of your dress all shadowy lined, and the droning engine throbs in time with your beating heart….sing….blue silver…_

Orlando shrugged each shoulder in turn, allowing the jacket to slide down his thin arms and puddle on the floor. He rolled his body, bending and stretching to emphasize the long lines of his body.

“I can’t watch this,” Elijah murmured, turning and darting into the living room. Sean Astin, Dom and Billy were on his heels, and the other men heard the front door slam.

“Enjoy your present, Viggo.” Ian smirked as he caught John by the arm and pulled him along.

“Good night, mate,” Beanie said, chuckling under his breath as he followed the others.

Viggo could only stare. This Orlando, this vision of sexuality and sin, was nothing he could have imagined in his wildest fantasies. And the thought that it was all for him, that this dance to the sensual music in his ears was totally for his benefit…Viggo was soon harder than he ever thought possible. The music grew harder as well, with drums and electric guitars adding to the original sound.

 _And watching lovers part I feel you smiling…glass splinters lie so deep in your mind…tear out from your eyes words stiffen brooding lies…I’ll only watch you leave me further behind…_

Orlando was slightly sweating now, nerves and his own arousal getting the best of him. He undid the belt and the button of the pants, finally meeting Viggo’s gaze. The unbridled lust and need shocked him so that he actually stopped dancing. The music got louder and more passionate, and he was not even able to unzip the pants before Viggo was on him, hands catching him by the back of the neck and pulling him in for a panting kiss.

Orlando fell back against the kitchen counter, gasping for breath as his mouth met Viggo’s. Viggo’s hands slid down to grab Orlando’s ass, pulling and lifting until Orlando was sitting on the counter. Orlando yanked at Viggo’s hair, moaning as Viggo’s mouth reached Orlando’s neck. Viggo’s teeth sank in and Orlando yelped.

“Don’t worry…I won’t leave a mark,” Viggo murmured, his hand finishing the zipper on Orlando’s pants. “Fuck!” Viggo moaned as he realized Orlando wore nothing underneath. Viggo’s mouth dipped down to one dark nipple. Orlando arched up, clawing at Viggo’s shirt. “You…are so hot…want you so bad…”

Orlando shoved at Viggo’s shirt, finally succeeding in removing it. He yanked Viggo’s head up for another kiss. “Happy…birthday…”

“Best fucking present I ever got,” Viggo said, watching his hand move on Orlando’s cock.

“Supposed to be…your…present…” Orlando panted, resting his head on Viggo’s shoulder and watching Viggo’s hand. His own hand undid Viggo’s jeans and found the hardness inside. Viggo actually whimpered as Orlando’s hand mirrored his own.

“Don’t worry…I’m not done with you yet,” Viggo promised.

Orlando felt himself getting close to the edge. He pulled Viggo in for one last kiss, trying to keep the rhythm on Viggo’s cock while he sucked Viggo’s tongue into his mouth, whimpering around it as he came. “Viggo,” he finally gasped.

“Fuck me, Orlando…fuck…” Viggo soon came over Orlando’s long fingers. They leaned against each other, hands wet with cum, pants lingering around their hips. Orlando buried his face in Viggo’s shoulder, suddenly ashamed. This is not what he had wanted to happen. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed it, but it was supposed to be more than this. “C’mon.” Viggo helped Orlando down from the counter, and Orlando ordered his legs to stop shaking. “Let’s get a shower.”

“I…I’ll just go,” Orlando said, pulling at his pants. “I can shower at home.”

“You…you don’t want to stay?” Viggo asked almost timidly.

“Of course I do, I just…I don’t know what…” Orlando waved his hand in the air, suddenly at a rare loss for words. “This wasn’t what I planned.”

“What did you plan, exactly?” Viggo stood by the table, propping himself up with a hand on the back of a chair.

“I wanted you to notice me. Notice me as more than just the stupid Elf Boy.”

“Oh, Orlando.” Viggo returned to him, cupping the slender chin in one hand. “I noticed you from the first second I laid eyes on you. Noticed every single amazing part of you. I knew you were too young for me, so I made sure you never noticed ME.”

“Oh, I noticed,” Orlando whispered. Viggo gently kissed him, a tender, barely-there-kiss. Orlando sighed when Viggo pulled back. “Happy birthday to ME.”

Viggo chuckled. “C’mon, you naughty boy. Let’s shower and get into bed.” He took Orlando by the hand and led him towards the bathroom. “I think you scarred the Hobbits for life.”

“Good,” Orlando said, laughing in delight. He sighed happily.

Viggo stopped in the doorway and gave Orlando another kiss, this one more passionate. “When’s your birthday?”

“January. January thirteenth.”

Viggo grinned slyly. “So I have two and a half months to come up with payback.” He left Orlando staring after him.

THE END


End file.
